Eagles are still terrible, revisionist attempts won't change that

Quit defending the Eagles, they're still terrible.

I posted this on Facebook yesterday, because many of my friends know my distaste/dislike/hatred? of the Eagles music and pretty much everything they stand for.  But some of my friends were shocked by this revelation.  I'm not saying I know everything about music, but I do listen to a lot of stuff.  I own a few thousands CDs, and I even pay for Spotify.  I've got friends that know way more about music than I do, I mean savant types who are probably top 1% in terms of knowledge.  Nonetheless I think I have some credibility, even if there is some stuff I have trouble admitting I like.

All that said, I didn't respond b/c I didn't want to get in a little war of those tools, but in thinking of my responses in my head I decided I needed to get them out.  Here are those random thoughts.

- I liked the Eagles too when I was 14 years old.  I didn't know much.  Growing up listening to AOR/Classic Rock in a city with few music options you heard a lot of the Eagles.  I owned a few albums (on vinyl), but then I grew up.  I also used to think Bud was pretty good (not when I was 14, but probably at the same progression on my drinking journey) and actually liked the "flavor" of Milwaukee's Best.  Then I tasted something good (Black Butte Porter, in Eugene, OR August 1994).  I grew up musically too and realized that the Eagles sucked.  It wasn't a one time epiphany like the beer thing, but probably a slow evolution.

-The Eagles are like the Sutter Home of American Rock Music.  You can drink a lot of it, for cheap and it's not going to tax your palette.  It's not good, but it's made for mass consumption.

-I was going to say the Eagles are like the Bud Light of music, but they're not.  Bud Light (while not very tasty) is good at doing what it's supposed to do.  The Eagles don't even do that.  Are they are country rock band?  Well after you hear anything Gram Parsons was involved with you realize that they aren't even good at that.  Are they are "Rock" band?  Well, then they're even worse b/c pretty much everyone is better than them in that space.

- Go ahead listen to the lyrics of "Hotel California".  It's like the output of a 7th grade creative writing class.  Lyrically just weak.

- Musically?  Maybe some talent there.  Joe Walsh 30 years ago could play some guitar, but he isn't great.  actually, they aren't that solid here either.  (See the 3 note scales guitar solo in "Hotel California").  No Chops

- That's the music stuff, when the Eagles moved in to Musical Hell for me was their first "Hell Freezes Over" tour.  "Isn't it cute how we hated each other and swore we'd never play together again, but then when we needed some cash we came back and charged you all ridiculously high ticket prices to see our milquetoast peaceful, easy feeling music?"  Actually it wasn't, it was douchey.  Try some integrity you greedy tools.

- And they're at it again.  Is this one called "Hell Freezes Over 5"?  or whatever number tour it is after they said they'd never play together again.  Someone must need a new pool or Ferrari.

- Just yesterday is was talking trash about Steely Dan.  I just can't listen to them.  I had a 6 month window about 20 years ago when I could, but that passed.  I get it, I understand what they do and technically they're good at it.  It's just not for me, it's for 65 year old White Male College Professors.  But unlike the Eagles, I do have some respect for them.  I just can't listen to it.  Not so with the Eagles.  And don't think I can only listen to artists that I respect b/c I'll listen to a great song even if I don't respect the artist (to a point), those are called guilty pleasures.  Eagles don't fit that category either.

They don't bring anything to the party and I wish they'd go away, but more importantly as this article points out, I wish people would stop trying to rehabilitate their reputation.

Take it away Gram http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PytxPaU6k4