So, tonight I went to see David Sedaris in Portland. I decided to take light rail, because I didn't really want to drive into Portland during rush hour and I always feel good when I use the Mass Transit, even if it does take longer than driving.
Anyway, on the way down to the show, halfway to my stop, a hooker sits next to me. Red Leather skirt, black boots the whole nine. Behind me are these two 20's crunchy types ...who reak of living the hard life, but anyway they were pretty cool, because the girl asks the hooker if she's cold or wants something to eat...anyway just good people tryin to help out.
So, I see Sedaris, and he's great. His first reading, from an upcoming article in Esquire is the highlight, followed by his reading of diary entries.
So, that finishes up and I head back to the light rail. I'm sitting next to one clean cut guy, probably 25 with a HUGE shit-eatin' grin on his face. Appeared to be pretty hammered...all he did was smile and look at his transit map. Across from us are three girls, again probably in their 20's, obviously returning from a class at Portland St. So, I do a little listening. I hear the youngest of the trio, probably 24 or so offering advice on why shouldn't go back with her daughter's father because "he hasn't changed".
Didn't really get much more than that because I pick up today's Oregonian Business section and I'm reading about how Adidas has signed up David Beckham for there latest campaign, when this young girl, maybe 18-19 (I'm bad with ages, but I'll go with this) sits where the drunk guy was (I missed him getting off) and she leans over to say something to me. She speaks very quietly and with a slight accent. I figure she's just asking directions, because for some reason everywhere I go people think I look like the kind of guy who knows where stuff is and if you ask my wife, you'd know that's not true. (In fact when I got off the train in Portland a guy asked me where 5th street was, I guessed and said "down there" and I was right as I headed the wrong way toward the theater. Well, not the wrong way, but an ineffecient way...got off the train to the right ans should have gone left).
Anyway, back to the girl. She's got teenager's skin and long black hair in need of some conditioning. I say "excuse me" to which I get,
"Are you Christian, I'm a missionary". I immediatly reply "no thanks" very politely. I have to say "no thanks" 5 more times before she stops talking. She ends with "Jesus loves you". I wanted to respond with "well, then why should i worry", but I don't. She sits there for a little while longer before she talks to the trio across from (remember the girl with the daughter?). She talks to one who says she is also a Christian, born-again in fact. Then the two of them seem to not know what to say, but I did hear "Jesus loves you and he's coming soon". So, I get to thinking, is that only for Christians to know. How come I don't get that tidbit of info?
Eventually, the missionary leaves the seat and takes her show toward the front of the car, where right before she gets off she does talk to some guy for quite a while. He get literature, the whole deal, so maybe she saved a soul tonight.
After that drama, I turn my attention to my right where an older guy with a Michael Keaton from "Family Ties" kinda look is talking to two young techie dudes/skater guys about the new Canon Digital SLR he's going to buy. A 17 megapixel to replace the 11Megapixel he has now. Should run about $8000.
Then the techies get off the stop before me, then my stop. I get off, the guy with the camera gets off and the girl with the great body and sloped nose and her balding boyfriend get off too.
So, to recap. I travel on a money losing mass transit project and I feel good about it to see a gay American author who lives in France most of the time. While going I sit next to a prostitute, I watch my show, come back home, someone tries to Save me and I blow her off to listen to some excellent American consumerism.
Isn't America GREAT?
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